This month has been a rough one writing wise. I am behind my goal curve and though I have time to make up the difference I have a hard time imagining my doing so. I think I’m a little burned out from the massive effort of last month, but i’m trying not to let that happen. My two main projects have been a struggle for me as of late. Last month the words came so easy, but now i look at the screen and i feel nothing. I am thinking that I may try for another short story just to help break things up and get the creativity flowing again. Perhaps I will spend some time this weekend looking for a publication that I will aim at getting published in.
I have spent a lot of time editing a story I wrote last month and I plan on submitting it by the end of next week or the week after. I am a little nervous about submitting the story because it will be my first submission to a serious publication and though I accept rejection as an all to real possibility I am not looking forward to it.
I have decided that I need to spend more time trying to get stories published in locations other than my blog. Having a writing resume that can refer publishers to more than just my blog would be a good thing. Perhaps I should even consider working on some major writing contests and the like as well. My book reviews have earned me some readers and I have gotten more and more submissions for review as of late so I’ll stick with them, though honestly the more reviews I do and the better I feel about my own writing the more critical I am becoming.
With all of that being said I’ve started to get a little jealous as of late. Good friends of mine like Craig Sotolano and Steve Umstead are selling books and finishing up on their second efforts and I can’t help but feel like I should be further along by now. I am not by nature a jealous person and I am proud of my friends and wish them nothing but the best and I bask in the glory of their awesomeness, but dammit I want to get published.
Steve told me about ReaderCon, a speculative fiction convention for readers and writers. It got me thinking about how seriously I take my writing and getting my work out there. Should I be out and about? Should I be networking and making friends in person in addition to online? I looked online and I found there is a convention here in North Carolina in November. It is hosted by the North Carolina Writers Network. I had not heard of this group until yesterday and now all I can think about is joining them and finding my way to this convention. The membership is $75 and I haven’t even looked at the price of the convention itself. I have got to find a way to pay for both. It is bordering on obsession.
I am trying hard to keep the faith. I know if I keep on writing and work hard i’ll be able to make it all happen. This year I have managed to put well over 100,000 words on the screen yet I feel no closer to finishing anything I have in the works. I will keep going and I will make all of this work and I will be published. Screw my jealousy. I have good friends who are talented and I am happy for them. I don’t want to be jealous about my friend’s success, I want to be successful like my friends, and that makes all the difference in the world.
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0 thoughts on “My Green Eyed Monster and the Obsession It Has Created”
Hey! You hang in there, you hear me! Do you remember when you told me that I needed to believe in myself more when I told you I was seriously thinking of just quitting writing period?
You told me that I should not do that, that I was good, that it wasn’t because I wasn’t that people rarely commented on my work, it was because I hadn’t “connected” with the right someone.
Well, I am telling you the same thing.
Yes, be glad for your friends, but don’t use their success as a ruler against which you judge your own awesome, wonderful talent.
Rather think of yourself as a gardener, and your magnificent stories as tender saplings that you tend to, nurture.
And yes, sometimes prune back to make them stronger.
With each word that you write, those saplings are putting out branches to shade the souls of those who seek a momentary respite, an escape, if you will, from the stress and cares of this world.
And as your tend those tender saplings, they are growing and putting down roots that will reach out and join with the roots of other writer’s saplings, till there is a network of stories that will last through the generations.
Yes, your friends may be basking in the light of being published, but so will you, and all of the care and attention and love that you have nourished those tender saplings that are the stories you write will make them strong, tall, healthy trees of knowledge, entertainment, comfort, or perhaps even a few shivers and chills to make two lovers snuggle together in the deep of the night,
Your stories will become wonderful, magnificent, majestic trees that our children and our children’s children will tie the swings of their imaginations to.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I believe in you.
I am sending you a humongerous cyber hug for luck and happiness,
Paula Tohline Calhoun
I am not going to repeat what was said in your first comment, above, but I do second it! What I am most excited about is the NC Writer’s Workshop! I knew nothing about it until reading this, and come hell or highwater, I will be there too! Please send me (by e-mail if you wish) all the info you have so far, and I will also look it up). I’m pretty sure I can swing the $75, but if it would help you and me actually find a road to publication, that would be worth the price. I assume it’s for a weekend? Whatever- I don’t care if it’s a Tuesday.
Writing is sort of like acting or singing professionally: The most talented are chosen far less than the lucky. That is not to say the writers you mention are not talented, but what I read of your work tells me you are at least as, or more, than they. A lot of it is timing, and God willing (I’m quite sure God is), it will happen! Let me hear from you, Eric: firstname.lastname@example.org
You’re better than you’ll ever give yourself credit for, Eric. I absolutely love reading all of your writings, and have told you for several years now that you should be published. YOU have got to put yourself out there, no one else can do it for you. You have more talent in your pinkie than most people have in their entire body. I have numerous friends who have self published, but as you know a huge percentage of readers download online. There’s money to be made there. I want you to truly take in what your readers say to you and believe it. Hell, do a survey, find out what your fans think is your best story and actually submit it to a clearing house. My favorite? Hands down: Alone. Take the chance. Don’t pass up going to that convention in November, m’dear, make it your goal and achieve it. YOU should, no…you WILL be right up there with your friends by taking that leap with confidence.
Thank you all for the wonderful comments. You’re confidence and encouragement certainly helps keep me going when I’m feeling a little less than powerful in my writing. I had a good day today with it and I am determined to find the money for the conference and the membership. It will all happen I just need to be patient and work hard.